this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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