I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
