Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
