thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
