He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
false alarm, still single
Randomize