If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
