i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
