I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize