its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He felt like a one man threesome
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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