FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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