I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
