I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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