i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
