I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
