soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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