I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
