i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
