Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize