So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
