We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
