so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
