I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
