Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
