We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
