that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
