So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
