i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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