I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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