My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
