We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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