if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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