Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
