I look better un-naked...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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