Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.

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(360): View more from Washington

Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I need rollerblades now

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Rollerblades pick up bitches

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(318): View more from Louisiana

PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

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(492): View more from

Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?

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(310): View more from California

I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic

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