jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
