Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
