Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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