people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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