Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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