He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
