thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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