You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize