Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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