we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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