This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
