I'm lost and stupid without you.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize