before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
