My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
