Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
