Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
