Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
