Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
