Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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