I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
