Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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