Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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