u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
