We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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