You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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