I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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