she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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