i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
