sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
