It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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