If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
