i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
