bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
