dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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