oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize