he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
