So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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