Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
