They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
